by Craig Harper
Like any self-respecting motivator, I'm always talking to people about goals and I regularly facilitate goal setting sessions; both with groups and individuals.
It's no revelation to suggest that goal setting is a crucial part of the renovate-your-life process.
What really interests me, is not the goals that people set, but what they believe the achievement of those goals will bring them.
In other words; the goals behind the goals.
What they really want.
In the world of Personal Development, these (the goals behind the goals) are called the 'outcomes'.
The girl who has a goal to earn $200,000 a year; what does she really want?
She wants less stress.
More options.
More happiness and joy.
Some fun.
More respect.
She wants her stupid father to finally acknowledge that she is talented and smart.
And rightly or wrongly, she believes that $200,000 will deliver her all, or some of, those outcomes.
What about the fat bloke who wants to drop 25 kgs (55lbs), what does he really want?
He wants to lose his social invisibility.
To be attractive to someone.
More self-esteem.
More confidence.
Happiness.
He wants to make his ex-girlfriend regret what she's done.
He wants to impress his old school mates at the reunion.
Over the years I have seen many (many, many) people achieve amazing results, only to be devastated, disappointed and disillusioned when the achievement of those goals didn't deliver them the outcomes they (consciously or not) had hoped for.
People who believed that a physical change would 'fix' their emotional, psychological and relationship problems.
People who believed that more money would take away their emptiness and the unhappiness and give them the respect they deserve.
So next time you set a goal, ask yourself: what are the (likely) outcomes of that goal?
What do I really want and am I going about it the right way?
You might just learn a bit about yourself.
Like any self-respecting motivator, I'm always talking to people about goals and I regularly facilitate goal setting sessions; both with groups and individuals.
It's no revelation to suggest that goal setting is a crucial part of the renovate-your-life process.
What really interests me, is not the goals that people set, but what they believe the achievement of those goals will bring them.
In other words; the goals behind the goals.
What they really want.
In the world of Personal Development, these (the goals behind the goals) are called the 'outcomes'.
The girl who has a goal to earn $200,000 a year; what does she really want?
She wants less stress.
More options.
More happiness and joy.
Some fun.
More respect.
She wants her stupid father to finally acknowledge that she is talented and smart.
And rightly or wrongly, she believes that $200,000 will deliver her all, or some of, those outcomes.
What about the fat bloke who wants to drop 25 kgs (55lbs), what does he really want?
He wants to lose his social invisibility.
To be attractive to someone.
More self-esteem.
More confidence.
Happiness.
He wants to make his ex-girlfriend regret what she's done.
He wants to impress his old school mates at the reunion.
Over the years I have seen many (many, many) people achieve amazing results, only to be devastated, disappointed and disillusioned when the achievement of those goals didn't deliver them the outcomes they (consciously or not) had hoped for.
People who believed that a physical change would 'fix' their emotional, psychological and relationship problems.
People who believed that more money would take away their emptiness and the unhappiness and give them the respect they deserve.
So next time you set a goal, ask yourself: what are the (likely) outcomes of that goal?
What do I really want and am I going about it the right way?
You might just learn a bit about yourself.
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