Thursday, November 29, 2007

When Others Don't Believe in You, Believe In Yourself

by Carolyn McFann

Sometimes it seems that when you are doing well, people you care about the most may not be as enthusiastic about it as you are. It can be frustrating, to say the least. Don’t let those, who put down your good luck or accomplishments, get you down. Instead, use their lack of interest or support as motivation to do even better things. Remember, you don’t need anyone’s approval, just your own. Don’t let others’ negative or indifferent attitudes affect your desire to grow and prosper.
When I left my ex, money was really tight. I researched apartments as I packed to leave, and found some that were really nice. Unfortunately, not having a current rental history (we lived in his place) made the landlord of one particularly nice unit deny my application. It was devastating. It was a cottage, with solitude and had charm and character. So, the neighborhood was less than wonderful, it had its own private garden to access through locked gates. To me, it was perfect, despite older appliances. Frustrated, I looked even harder at apartments, renting a suite in a hotel until the right place was found. To my surprise, after seeing ten different places, I found a really lovely one. It was much more elegant than the little cottage, and in a top neighborhood, near the ocean. Situated on a lake, nature was all around. This quiet place; complete with big windows, more square footage and new appliances, was absolutely perfect. And, they accepted me! It cost a little more than the other place, but that was not a problem. By going beyond what was originally planned, my situation improved more than was ever expected.
Starting a diet can be hard. When the weight finally begins to come off, some friends may try to sabotage your success by encouraging you to eat fattening foods. Don’t listen, and stand your ground. It takes perseverance and willpower to keep the weight loss going. Trust me. I lost 40 pounds by not listening to other people’s suggestions of “One slice of pepperoni pizza won’t hurt,” or “Have some cheesecake, I won’t tell anyone.” Don’t fault them for it, but be firm in your conviction, to not overeat. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Some people may get mad, but who cares? It’s their problem, not yours. Doing good things to make your life better and healthier are never anything to be ashamed of.
When I was much younger and blonder, my boss at a phone operator job used to mistake me for the coffee vendor. He used to bark at me to make his coffee, not to dark or too light. What a flaming jerk. I was a phone operator, not someone to make the perfect coffee for him. Secretly, I wanted to tell him to go to a coffeehouse and leave me alone, but I kept my mouth shut. He assumed that I was brainless, but liked my phone work. I put up with it for awhile, and then thought to myself, “What on earth am I doing? I can do better than this!” Sick of being called, “Baby” or “honey,” I gave my two weeks’ notice and got a better job in a publishing company, making double what my old job paid previously. It just took a little motivation and belief in myself. The new job had a respectful boss, who didn’t belittle and gave bonuses every year. It felt good to be treated well for my accomplishments, instead of being thought of as some sort of doll to play with.
When you have a dream, it is your job to work hard and accomplish it. Anyone who doesn’t believe in your dreams doesn’t need to hear about it. Keep it to yourself and be content knowing you are following your heart. Your values, likes and dislikes are your own, as are your dreams. Don’t follow others’ dreams, and don’t let anyone try to control you. It is your life. You are responsible for yourself and your own decisions. If you surrender your personal power to others, many will gladly tell you what to do or think. Believe in yourself. You can do it, and if you haven’t yet, then be patient. Think about the task at hand as a puzzle, and set out to figure it out, one step at a time. Each successful step towards your goal is a victory, so be proud of it. In time, goals will be accomplished, and your confidence will grow. Someday, people who didn’t believe in you may change their minds. If they don’t, be satisfied knowing that you accomplished your goal on your own. Be your own friend, and supporter. Give the world the best you’ve got, and good things will come back to you in return. Just wait and see.

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