by Craig Harper
As blokes, there are some questions that we really don't want to hear.
Ever.
There are no winners with these questions.
The Bermuda Triangle of conversation. Many, many men have been lost in there, never to return.
These questions are pointless and problematic, and have been asked by women since the dawn of time.
While most historians and archeologists claim that the dinosaur and sabre-toothed tiger killed off Cro-Magnon man, it was actually the question:
"Ogg, does my bum look big in this bear-skin?"
All Ogg had to do was hesitate.... and he was beaten to death with his own club.
Sad.
Not to mention the humiliation in front of his buddies.
So, why do women do it to us poor defenseless blokes? Ain't gonna be no joy for nobody, so why ask?
Relationship suicide.
If we give the answer the woman doesn't want to hear, we're stuffed.
If we give the answer she does want to hear, she doesn't believe us.
We're stuffed.
The un-answerable questions I call them.
As the Alpha-Male of the species, the obvious choice is to avoid them all together, but if an un-answerable question comes your way, you've gotta try something.... so here are your best options:
1. Counter her question with your own interrogation: "when were you going to tell me about those three hundred dollar shoes?" Attack is your best defence.
2. Start crying and tell her you're confused.
3. No matter what you really think, answer quickly, confidently and loudly with these words: "you look amazing." Maintain eye contact and don't blink. The blink will get you killed.
4. Shift her focus; grab your chest and tell her you've got pins and needles down your left arm.
5. Ignore the question and ask her if she's seen the remote. You're going down anyway... may as well go with a bang.
As blokes, there are some questions that we really don't want to hear.
Ever.
There are no winners with these questions.
The Bermuda Triangle of conversation. Many, many men have been lost in there, never to return.
These questions are pointless and problematic, and have been asked by women since the dawn of time.
While most historians and archeologists claim that the dinosaur and sabre-toothed tiger killed off Cro-Magnon man, it was actually the question:
"Ogg, does my bum look big in this bear-skin?"
All Ogg had to do was hesitate.... and he was beaten to death with his own club.
Sad.
Not to mention the humiliation in front of his buddies.
So, why do women do it to us poor defenseless blokes? Ain't gonna be no joy for nobody, so why ask?
Relationship suicide.
If we give the answer the woman doesn't want to hear, we're stuffed.
If we give the answer she does want to hear, she doesn't believe us.
We're stuffed.
The un-answerable questions I call them.
As the Alpha-Male of the species, the obvious choice is to avoid them all together, but if an un-answerable question comes your way, you've gotta try something.... so here are your best options:
1. Counter her question with your own interrogation: "when were you going to tell me about those three hundred dollar shoes?" Attack is your best defence.
2. Start crying and tell her you're confused.
3. No matter what you really think, answer quickly, confidently and loudly with these words: "you look amazing." Maintain eye contact and don't blink. The blink will get you killed.
4. Shift her focus; grab your chest and tell her you've got pins and needles down your left arm.
5. Ignore the question and ask her if she's seen the remote. You're going down anyway... may as well go with a bang.
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