by Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
Boredom and busyness are the same problem with different faces. Some people might think it counter-intuitive to try to deal with chronic boredom and busyness at the same time, but I have come to believe that the only way to deal with them is to face them simultaneously.
The Two Culprits of Boredom and Busyness
The first culprit is lack of purpose. Your purpose is what should be driving your life. Your purpose is your reason for taking space on this earth. If you look at the details of your life, the demands (busyness) or the lack of them (boredom) you will have a difficult time deciding on your life purpose. You should define your life purpose first, and then decide how to fill in the blanks. If one of your purposes is to be a good parent, then define how and let the activities fill in the how. That question alone will kill busyness and boredom big time. If your purpose is to influence people in a positive manner, then decide what is positive activity in the fulfillment of your purpose. And I assure you something! The answers to the how will always end up being something you need to stop doing (busyness) or something you must start doing (boredom)!
The second one is attention management. Both, boredom and busyness stem from the feeling that there is a lack of quality in what is taking your attention.
BOREDOM is feeling that there are too few high quality ways to spend attention. BUSYNESS, on the other side, is forced boredom. This means that you feel there are high quality ways to spend attention, but your attention is being stolen from you before you can use it in a meaningful way.
Boredom and Busyness is in Your Mind
Feelings of boredom and busyness are entirely subjective. You can’t look out at the world and claim it is busy or boring. Both are pictures you choose to hold in your mind! The real problem is quality connected to PURPOSE!
Being engaged, neither busy or bored, happens when your attention is filled with a high quality source.
You can probably remember times when you were completely engaged. This could have been working on a project you were passionate about (Purpose). Spending time with your family (Purpose), sky diving or vacationing under the sun (Rest as part of a purpose). Why were you engaged in these moments and not in others? Most likely because they were pieces of a greater purpose. Take the purpose away and those activities simply become fun for the moment. Very often the people I have observed that get excited with events such as the ones I mentioned, feel totally depressed and negative after the event is over. That’s a clue right there to “busyness-boredom” versus purpose.
Conquering Boredom and Busyness is About the I.Q of your Activities!
I.Q is the Improved Quality of your activities and it is directly connected to your Purpose. I.Q. defines the relevancy of those activities in relationship to your Purpose. Attention management will naturally improve if your Purpose is clear and your activities are relevant to your Purpose! So how do you improve quality in your activities and experiences? I believe there are two major ways you can do it, externally and internally. But if you chronically experience busyness (not just being busy, but actively disliking the busyness) or boredom then you would probably need to tackle the problem from both ends.
Here are some ways to consider improving quality in your experiences:
Externally:
1. Plan your activities with your PURPOSE in mind - Schedule your life to ensure there aren’t huge gaps or compressions that will distract you from your Purpose. This may mean creating high quality experiences connected to your purpose if you find yourself frequently bored. It can also mean dividing large projects and prioritizing in relationship to your purpose if you find yourself chronically busy.
2. Think-Think - If you must perform an activity that is disconnected to your purpose, think through it carefully. Find ways to reorganize your life so that jobs, chores and duties can become interesting high-quality experiences connected to your purpose. Again, this is a call for creativity.
3. Prioritize - I know it’s been said before, but if you don’t manage your time you will never have enough of it. There are always more things to do than you have time for. If that weren’t the case, time would be a meaningless concept. Get your purpose straight so that the most relevant priorities are handled first and your life doesn’t get overtaken by the unimportant.
4. Put Quality of Experience First - It is easy to get caught up in external goals that don’t fulfill your purpose. Focus on goals that will give you a greater quality, not just a bigger paycheck or more status to brag about.
5. Break the Motion - Habits are a part of your life, but don’t let them become the only thing. Break out of your patterns if they aren’t giving you what you need.
Internally:
Most of the ways to improve your quality of experience and conquer boredom are internal. I can not emphasize enough the importance of defining your purpose as you deal with the internal factors that determine the I.Q. (Improved Quality) of your activities.
1. Build an Inner World - I’m not suggesting you create a complete gap between yourself and reality. But also realize that if you can’t find quality in your immediate surroundings, you can find it within yourself. Journeying the environment inside your own head can be a means to compensate for any temporary lack. Solving internal problems, reviewing knowledge, coming up with new ideas, creating stories or even planning for the future are all areas you can explore in the mind without any external stimulus. I believe in this principle perhaps more than any other one I can talk about. Meditation, thinking, silent time, processing experiences, journaling and writing are ways to enrich your inner world spiritually and emotionally. Give your IPod a brake every once in a while and learn to enjoy the silence of your mind!
2. Seek Quality in the Here and Now - What are you doing right now? What can you find that has quality for you. Remember quality is what is connected to your purpose. If you ask yourself the question of relevancy you can usually come up with an answer. Seeking quality right now allows you to find it even if your environment is bare or overloaded.
3. Resistance is Foolish! - Busyness and boredom could also be described as symptoms of resisting what COULD BE. I have often found that both types (busyness and boredom) are directly connected to perfectionism, which is an inability to accept imperfection or what is at the moment! Fully accepting whatever situation you are in and making the most of it is one way to conquer the feelings of busyness and boredom. Resisting REALITY (imperfection) is something that can’t be done half-way. Either completely push away and create a new reality elsewhere, or accept your reality and find meaning there.
4. Free Yourself - A lot of mental unease is caused because you feel forced to do something. You have to go to work. You have to study for your test. You have to do this or that. Realize that you don’t have to do anything, just accept different results. Freedom is in your mind. Freedom is a CHOICE! You could choose not to have money or get poor grades in school. Choosing the best quality activities to accomplish your purpose puts you in control of your motions and actions.
5. Stop - Boredom and feeling overloaded are both patterns. They are mental spirals you run on yourself that loop back on each other. If you just interrupt yourself for a few minutes and think more deeply about the problem you can often come up with a good answer independent of these suggestions. Stop and conquer.
Let's review:
In order to stop the vicious cycles of boredom and busyness...
1. Find your purpose!
2. Ask yourself “how” you can accomplish your purpose.
3. Evaluate your level of activities or lack of as they are connected to your purpose. Review the external and internal strategies that can change your I.Q.
4. Implement I.Q. (Improved Quality) in your activities.
5. Your attention management will dramatically change and you will get away from busyness and boredom into a more fulfilling life!
Boredom and busyness are the same problem with different faces. Some people might think it counter-intuitive to try to deal with chronic boredom and busyness at the same time, but I have come to believe that the only way to deal with them is to face them simultaneously.
The Two Culprits of Boredom and Busyness
The first culprit is lack of purpose. Your purpose is what should be driving your life. Your purpose is your reason for taking space on this earth. If you look at the details of your life, the demands (busyness) or the lack of them (boredom) you will have a difficult time deciding on your life purpose. You should define your life purpose first, and then decide how to fill in the blanks. If one of your purposes is to be a good parent, then define how and let the activities fill in the how. That question alone will kill busyness and boredom big time. If your purpose is to influence people in a positive manner, then decide what is positive activity in the fulfillment of your purpose. And I assure you something! The answers to the how will always end up being something you need to stop doing (busyness) or something you must start doing (boredom)!
The second one is attention management. Both, boredom and busyness stem from the feeling that there is a lack of quality in what is taking your attention.
BOREDOM is feeling that there are too few high quality ways to spend attention. BUSYNESS, on the other side, is forced boredom. This means that you feel there are high quality ways to spend attention, but your attention is being stolen from you before you can use it in a meaningful way.
Boredom and Busyness is in Your Mind
Feelings of boredom and busyness are entirely subjective. You can’t look out at the world and claim it is busy or boring. Both are pictures you choose to hold in your mind! The real problem is quality connected to PURPOSE!
Being engaged, neither busy or bored, happens when your attention is filled with a high quality source.
You can probably remember times when you were completely engaged. This could have been working on a project you were passionate about (Purpose). Spending time with your family (Purpose), sky diving or vacationing under the sun (Rest as part of a purpose). Why were you engaged in these moments and not in others? Most likely because they were pieces of a greater purpose. Take the purpose away and those activities simply become fun for the moment. Very often the people I have observed that get excited with events such as the ones I mentioned, feel totally depressed and negative after the event is over. That’s a clue right there to “busyness-boredom” versus purpose.
Conquering Boredom and Busyness is About the I.Q of your Activities!
I.Q is the Improved Quality of your activities and it is directly connected to your Purpose. I.Q. defines the relevancy of those activities in relationship to your Purpose. Attention management will naturally improve if your Purpose is clear and your activities are relevant to your Purpose! So how do you improve quality in your activities and experiences? I believe there are two major ways you can do it, externally and internally. But if you chronically experience busyness (not just being busy, but actively disliking the busyness) or boredom then you would probably need to tackle the problem from both ends.
Here are some ways to consider improving quality in your experiences:
Externally:
1. Plan your activities with your PURPOSE in mind - Schedule your life to ensure there aren’t huge gaps or compressions that will distract you from your Purpose. This may mean creating high quality experiences connected to your purpose if you find yourself frequently bored. It can also mean dividing large projects and prioritizing in relationship to your purpose if you find yourself chronically busy.
2. Think-Think - If you must perform an activity that is disconnected to your purpose, think through it carefully. Find ways to reorganize your life so that jobs, chores and duties can become interesting high-quality experiences connected to your purpose. Again, this is a call for creativity.
3. Prioritize - I know it’s been said before, but if you don’t manage your time you will never have enough of it. There are always more things to do than you have time for. If that weren’t the case, time would be a meaningless concept. Get your purpose straight so that the most relevant priorities are handled first and your life doesn’t get overtaken by the unimportant.
4. Put Quality of Experience First - It is easy to get caught up in external goals that don’t fulfill your purpose. Focus on goals that will give you a greater quality, not just a bigger paycheck or more status to brag about.
5. Break the Motion - Habits are a part of your life, but don’t let them become the only thing. Break out of your patterns if they aren’t giving you what you need.
Internally:
Most of the ways to improve your quality of experience and conquer boredom are internal. I can not emphasize enough the importance of defining your purpose as you deal with the internal factors that determine the I.Q. (Improved Quality) of your activities.
1. Build an Inner World - I’m not suggesting you create a complete gap between yourself and reality. But also realize that if you can’t find quality in your immediate surroundings, you can find it within yourself. Journeying the environment inside your own head can be a means to compensate for any temporary lack. Solving internal problems, reviewing knowledge, coming up with new ideas, creating stories or even planning for the future are all areas you can explore in the mind without any external stimulus. I believe in this principle perhaps more than any other one I can talk about. Meditation, thinking, silent time, processing experiences, journaling and writing are ways to enrich your inner world spiritually and emotionally. Give your IPod a brake every once in a while and learn to enjoy the silence of your mind!
2. Seek Quality in the Here and Now - What are you doing right now? What can you find that has quality for you. Remember quality is what is connected to your purpose. If you ask yourself the question of relevancy you can usually come up with an answer. Seeking quality right now allows you to find it even if your environment is bare or overloaded.
3. Resistance is Foolish! - Busyness and boredom could also be described as symptoms of resisting what COULD BE. I have often found that both types (busyness and boredom) are directly connected to perfectionism, which is an inability to accept imperfection or what is at the moment! Fully accepting whatever situation you are in and making the most of it is one way to conquer the feelings of busyness and boredom. Resisting REALITY (imperfection) is something that can’t be done half-way. Either completely push away and create a new reality elsewhere, or accept your reality and find meaning there.
4. Free Yourself - A lot of mental unease is caused because you feel forced to do something. You have to go to work. You have to study for your test. You have to do this or that. Realize that you don’t have to do anything, just accept different results. Freedom is in your mind. Freedom is a CHOICE! You could choose not to have money or get poor grades in school. Choosing the best quality activities to accomplish your purpose puts you in control of your motions and actions.
5. Stop - Boredom and feeling overloaded are both patterns. They are mental spirals you run on yourself that loop back on each other. If you just interrupt yourself for a few minutes and think more deeply about the problem you can often come up with a good answer independent of these suggestions. Stop and conquer.
Let's review:
In order to stop the vicious cycles of boredom and busyness...
1. Find your purpose!
2. Ask yourself “how” you can accomplish your purpose.
3. Evaluate your level of activities or lack of as they are connected to your purpose. Review the external and internal strategies that can change your I.Q.
4. Implement I.Q. (Improved Quality) in your activities.
5. Your attention management will dramatically change and you will get away from busyness and boredom into a more fulfilling life!
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