Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Should You Or Shouldn't You?

by Tim Connor

Many people today struggle with the need to know what will happen tomorrow, next week or this year. Some have the need to manipulate tomorrow or to have life be ‘in order’ or ‘certain.’ I can only tell you that one philosophy which has served me well all these years is: learn to embrace the unexpected and release the expected.
I never thought my life would turn out this way. How about you? Is your life unfolding exactly the way you want? Planned? Expected? I doubt it. It is probably either turning out better than you thought, or in some ways worse. Life is about uncertainty, adventure, unknowns and surprises. Yes, some of these can be positive while some can be negative.
But remember that everyone defines positive and negative by their own perceptions, experiences and parameters. What are some of the uncertainties in life? I don’t really need to tell you because I am confident you have experienced some. But here are a few anyway.

-a career change that you didn’t anticipate.
-a divorce that you never thought possible.
-a health crisis that you were not prepared
for.
-a new relationship at the wrong time in your
life.
-a financial challenge that you felt you did not deserve.
-a family problem with children, in-laws, siblings.


There are many others, but for most people they seem to fall within the above list.
There are two ways to live life. Release the struggle to know in advance what your life may bring, or fight life and all of its uncertainty by trying to create a known outcome.
I can only tell you that sooner or later in every life there will be unknowns. That’s life, folks. The key is to have a working philosophy and/or life outlook that enables you to get through all of these challenges, adventures and surprises with dignity, peace, balance and inner harmony. I know from personal experience that life can be difficult when one fails to see the big picture in advance. I have had my share of ‘troubles’ in almost every area of life, but I have also come to understand that these so-called surprises – in the end – can be a wonderful detour through life. Lessons come from all directions in life at the strangest times. We are never ready for failure, adversity, or emotional challenges, but sooner or later life will be asking you some fundamental questions. There are many, but here are just a couple:
Who are you? What do you believe? Who are you becoming? What are you learning? What are you here to do? How are you contributing to others?
Your answers to these and other questions will determine the quality of your life, emotional state, success and happiness. Trust me, no matter what you do, learn, accomplish, are worth, or master, sooner or later your life will have its share of adventure, uncertainty and surprise. Learn to accept these as the life experience, rather than feel the need to be ‘in control’ every minute or day in your life.

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