by Camille Strate
For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming of a day when I could write and get paid to do it. No 'real job'. No worries about paying the bills. Just me and my computer and hours on end to write. Oh, what I could do then! What a grand and delicious way to spend my days! Oh, if only...
Then, out of 'the blue' it happened. Not in the way I'd have hoped, but nonetheless....I have the time to write and the means to do so. I have all day, every day to sit at my computer if I wish and write that long overdue novel (or whatever). The day I found out I was going to be getting this unexpected income, I was overjoyed. I was finally 'free' to do what I wanted and not have to put up with commutes and surly bosses. I could get up in the morning, make my coffee and sit on the porch to gather my thoughts. I could take a walk and soak in the beauty of my surroundings, thereby providing further inspiration to write some fantastic book. One problem...
The reason for the 'unexpected income' was my physical state.. Not good. Some sort of malady, thus far a mystery, had appeared and my physical mobility was completely impaired because of it. Forget the walks. Forget the hikes in the canyons. Forget any kind of physical activity. Just getting out of bed in the mornings was a feat. Pain screamed through my body at every breath.. Showering and getting dressed were major tasks. Even just getting up or sitting down at my desk was something I had to keenly focus on. Sheesh! NOT what I'd planned!
So, after months of agonizing pain and both physical and psychological, I made up my mind to just stop thinking about it. Okay. So there's all this pain every time I move....does this mean I must stop BEING? Does this mean that this time I'm being 'given' is to be wasted on self-pity? Does this mean the book will go unwritten? I think not! But there was more to it than just the physcial challenge. There was the lack of ideas. What to write about? Where are all the ideas I'd had when I didn't have time to write? Why am I sitting at my computer with nothing to say? What in the world is going on here? It was driving me crazy. And the more I tried, the more I had nothing to 'say'. Quite the quandary. Then one day, I had this idea....what if I pretended that I was on 'holiday'? What if I just let the day unfold, without any plan or schedule or 'to do' list? What might that be like?
Once that thought entered my little brain, everything about my 'life' changed. I'd made the decision to accept my current 'state' and not fight it. I'd finally given up the idea of 'what used to be' and started living in my 'now'. I made a conscious decision to take each moment as it came and allow what would be to be. In short, I stopped fighting. This was a huge shift for me. And the changes that followed were even more profound than I could have imagined. All sorts of 'tools' began to appear. Books that affirmed my decision. People who had been in similar situations. Total strangers who had gifts to offer from their own experiences. All manner of little miracles (if there is such a thing as a 'little' miracle!) began to show up. It was as if the Universe was saying, 'Bravo! You got it! Just let go. It's all perfect just the way it is.'
Surrender is a very funny word. Not 'ha ha' funny....weird funny. We tend to use with in an entirely negative connotation. We tend to look at surrender as 'giving up'. Tossing in the towel. Quitting. But what if surrender is more than that? What if by surrendering, we're merely 'giving up' old beliefs, old though patterns, old behaviours? What if, by surrendering we're actually telling the Universe that we're ready to unfold, to BE the instrument of Divine Intelligence, to expand what was previously a very miniscule reflection of who we really are? Is this what Jesus was talking about? Is this what Buddha was trying to tell us? Is this our ticket to true Living?
I've played with this practice for several weeks now and I can attest to the profound impact it's had on my Life. Things that were once (not so long ago) incredibly painful to me are no longer more than a fleeting thought. Letting go of the 'image' of who I once was has become so secondary that even as I type, it's hard to remember who that person was. Adages that never made any sense to me are suddenly clear as a bell. I understand what was meant by 'behind every cloud is a silver lining'. I get the whole 'blessing in disguise'. I can see how this so-called tragedy is one of the greatest gifts I could have been given. The person I am today is nothing like the person I was a year ago. I have more patience, more tolerance, more compassion than I've ever had. There's a softness about me that a short time ago I would have considered 'weakness'. Most of all, the critical, judgemental person I used to be seems to have disappeared. In short, I'm a much better human Being. I'm OPEN to what Life has to offer. I am BEING rather than pretending to be.
There is a remarkable grace in living through this kind of experience. Once we realize that ALL of Life is change, we are then able to let go of social and familial expectations to find our own 'true north'. We can experience so much more joy and expansion when we allow ourselves to experience each moment in the moment, rather than projecting forward or remembering what 'was'. We live in the moment of NOW and we see everything with so much more clarity. It's really quite an amazing way to experience Life. And I wouldn't trade all the pain in my body for these lessons. I equate it to the butterfly: what first began as a little catterpillar and wove itself a cocoon in which to transform itself into the marvelous winged creature it becomes....this is what the past year of my Life has been. The butterfly is about to emerge.
Camille Olivia Strate is an author, coach and travel consultant who takes great pleasure in helping folks 'remember' who they are. She spends much of her time with her beloved animals, maintaining that they are her greatest connection to Source. When she's not 'coaching' or writing, she can be found in the garden or on a trail, soaking in the marvels of Nature's offerings. Her latest book, "Whispers" is now available in eBook format. Hardcopy to follow soon! Visit her personal site at http://www.joyzachoice.com For business information, business opportunities or just great deals on traveling, visit her travel site, http://www.joyztravel.info
For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming of a day when I could write and get paid to do it. No 'real job'. No worries about paying the bills. Just me and my computer and hours on end to write. Oh, what I could do then! What a grand and delicious way to spend my days! Oh, if only...
Then, out of 'the blue' it happened. Not in the way I'd have hoped, but nonetheless....I have the time to write and the means to do so. I have all day, every day to sit at my computer if I wish and write that long overdue novel (or whatever). The day I found out I was going to be getting this unexpected income, I was overjoyed. I was finally 'free' to do what I wanted and not have to put up with commutes and surly bosses. I could get up in the morning, make my coffee and sit on the porch to gather my thoughts. I could take a walk and soak in the beauty of my surroundings, thereby providing further inspiration to write some fantastic book. One problem...
The reason for the 'unexpected income' was my physical state.. Not good. Some sort of malady, thus far a mystery, had appeared and my physical mobility was completely impaired because of it. Forget the walks. Forget the hikes in the canyons. Forget any kind of physical activity. Just getting out of bed in the mornings was a feat. Pain screamed through my body at every breath.. Showering and getting dressed were major tasks. Even just getting up or sitting down at my desk was something I had to keenly focus on. Sheesh! NOT what I'd planned!
So, after months of agonizing pain and both physical and psychological, I made up my mind to just stop thinking about it. Okay. So there's all this pain every time I move....does this mean I must stop BEING? Does this mean that this time I'm being 'given' is to be wasted on self-pity? Does this mean the book will go unwritten? I think not! But there was more to it than just the physcial challenge. There was the lack of ideas. What to write about? Where are all the ideas I'd had when I didn't have time to write? Why am I sitting at my computer with nothing to say? What in the world is going on here? It was driving me crazy. And the more I tried, the more I had nothing to 'say'. Quite the quandary. Then one day, I had this idea....what if I pretended that I was on 'holiday'? What if I just let the day unfold, without any plan or schedule or 'to do' list? What might that be like?
Once that thought entered my little brain, everything about my 'life' changed. I'd made the decision to accept my current 'state' and not fight it. I'd finally given up the idea of 'what used to be' and started living in my 'now'. I made a conscious decision to take each moment as it came and allow what would be to be. In short, I stopped fighting. This was a huge shift for me. And the changes that followed were even more profound than I could have imagined. All sorts of 'tools' began to appear. Books that affirmed my decision. People who had been in similar situations. Total strangers who had gifts to offer from their own experiences. All manner of little miracles (if there is such a thing as a 'little' miracle!) began to show up. It was as if the Universe was saying, 'Bravo! You got it! Just let go. It's all perfect just the way it is.'
Surrender is a very funny word. Not 'ha ha' funny....weird funny. We tend to use with in an entirely negative connotation. We tend to look at surrender as 'giving up'. Tossing in the towel. Quitting. But what if surrender is more than that? What if by surrendering, we're merely 'giving up' old beliefs, old though patterns, old behaviours? What if, by surrendering we're actually telling the Universe that we're ready to unfold, to BE the instrument of Divine Intelligence, to expand what was previously a very miniscule reflection of who we really are? Is this what Jesus was talking about? Is this what Buddha was trying to tell us? Is this our ticket to true Living?
I've played with this practice for several weeks now and I can attest to the profound impact it's had on my Life. Things that were once (not so long ago) incredibly painful to me are no longer more than a fleeting thought. Letting go of the 'image' of who I once was has become so secondary that even as I type, it's hard to remember who that person was. Adages that never made any sense to me are suddenly clear as a bell. I understand what was meant by 'behind every cloud is a silver lining'. I get the whole 'blessing in disguise'. I can see how this so-called tragedy is one of the greatest gifts I could have been given. The person I am today is nothing like the person I was a year ago. I have more patience, more tolerance, more compassion than I've ever had. There's a softness about me that a short time ago I would have considered 'weakness'. Most of all, the critical, judgemental person I used to be seems to have disappeared. In short, I'm a much better human Being. I'm OPEN to what Life has to offer. I am BEING rather than pretending to be.
There is a remarkable grace in living through this kind of experience. Once we realize that ALL of Life is change, we are then able to let go of social and familial expectations to find our own 'true north'. We can experience so much more joy and expansion when we allow ourselves to experience each moment in the moment, rather than projecting forward or remembering what 'was'. We live in the moment of NOW and we see everything with so much more clarity. It's really quite an amazing way to experience Life. And I wouldn't trade all the pain in my body for these lessons. I equate it to the butterfly: what first began as a little catterpillar and wove itself a cocoon in which to transform itself into the marvelous winged creature it becomes....this is what the past year of my Life has been. The butterfly is about to emerge.
Camille Olivia Strate is an author, coach and travel consultant who takes great pleasure in helping folks 'remember' who they are. She spends much of her time with her beloved animals, maintaining that they are her greatest connection to Source. When she's not 'coaching' or writing, she can be found in the garden or on a trail, soaking in the marvels of Nature's offerings. Her latest book, "Whispers" is now available in eBook format. Hardcopy to follow soon! Visit her personal site at http://www.joyzachoice.com For business information, business opportunities or just great deals on traveling, visit her travel site, http://www.joyztravel.info
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